Mystery: Ada finds this corner of our living room hilarious. She cranes to look at it and, if allowed, will stare at it and squeal with laughter for up to 20 minutes. I don’t want to label our child at this early stage in life, but I think it’s fair to say she’s a massive oddball. Or a baby genius.
Investigation: I show her each object in turn and note reactions. I also note that I don’t really know what some of the objects are.
Reaction: Free jazz
I’m hopeful as we approach the lamp – she reaches out enthusiastically with one hand. But then spends three minutes just hitting it arrhythmically with her palm. Not even a hint of a smile. Hm.
Reaction: Mild alarm
The inactive printer garners no reaction at all. Switched on, Ada emits a panicky ‘HOO!’ and leans so far backwards in my arms that I in no way overbalance and almost drop her. No sir.
3 Weird webcam thing
Reaction: Blank stare
Chris spies on us with this when he goes to London on Fridays. This means that he can backseat-parent from afar, texting me things like ‘Try giving Calpol’ when she’s biting lumps out of my teething-gel-covered fingers. Thanks, daddy.
4 Comedy giant sharpener
Reaction: Angry squeal
Perhaps she is not a fan of oversized stationery objects. Perhaps she is unamused by the fact that the pencil stored in the giant sharpener is, in fact, blunt. We may never know.
5 Peace lily:
Reaction: Drooly lunges
Ada wants to eat the plant. I won’t let her eat the plant. Replace ‘plant’ with ‘everything in our house’, and you have an accurate description of life with a six month old.
No laughter, though.
Reaction: Wants to play in Jumperoo
Neither of us are sure what this is or what it’s for. It’s embarrassing how often this happens to me in my own home.
Perks up a little bit when the Wheeler Dealers theme comes on – who doesn’t? – but no proper laughter.
Conclusion: IT’S THE WALL.
Guys, she is laughing at the chipboarded wall. It is kind of funny, I guess.
So that’s a period of time I’ll never get back. Thanks, Ada, you tiny lovely weirdo.