Chris and I watch television separately because we ruined our lives four months ago. We don’t often feel the need to discuss what we’ve watched, but have recently spent far too much time discussing the festive stings by Guylian on Food Network. Everything about them is crazy:
The ‘icing sugar’ incident
In one of the stings, someone places three Guylian chocolates on a saucer then dusts them with icing sugar. This is bonkers to start with – who garnishes a sweet? – but it’s the sheer frugality of the display that makes us laugh. Ooh, let’s pop out a saucer of sweeties for our guests; three should do it, we don’t want them to feel too welcome.
The reindeer offering
In my favourite sting, there are a row of saucers, each bearing one chocolate labelled for each of Santa’s reindeer. Fair enough, except they are the wrapped-up Guylians. How are the reindeer going to open them with their hooves? You’re just taunting them!
The ever-changing pronunciation issue
When I was young, the Guylian adverts pronounced the product name as I suppose it was intended: Geel-yan. Then for a while the company decided to make things less confusing for the consumer and went phonetic: Guy-lee-an. But the stings have a whole new pronunciation to mangle: Gilly-an.
What is going on? Time for a Starburst-style rebrand? I vote for Gillian’s Shell-O-Yums.