Weekend notes


Chris got a letter from Vision Express, outlining some of the exciting services they offer. At the end, there’s a big subhead: Tell us what you would like to see… Everything! I’d like x-ray vision! I’d like to see into the future! I want to witness a fourth dimension! I’ve got ophthalmic ambitions that I suspect Vision Express can’t deliver.


We’ve decided to live like grown-ups. This means loading the dishwasher every day, getting up more than 15 seconds before we have to leave for work, and making packed lunches. The packed lunch bit is by far the worst aspect of this lifestyle change. Yes, it saves money, but when I’m sitting at my desk staring at five floppy cucumber sticks and a Ryvita, there’s not enough money in the world to relieve the existential despair. Luckily, I get motivational text messages to keep me strong.


Happy July!

I feel I’ve been a bit downbeat, sorry everyone. Here’s a photo of some monkeys eating a watermelon at London Zoo.

Hey hey, we are monkeys! People say we can be dangerous when provoked!
Now give us some fucking watermelon.

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